YOUR QUESTIONS…

Q.How to deal with a hurt given by someone else, which can't be ever undone, and you are carrying it throughout your life and are unable to free yourself from this burden?

A.I can feel the pain that somebody may go through by just reading your question. Please accept my deep sympathy if this is not a mere question but reality for someone. You may find my answer not suitable and supportive. You may strongly disagree also. But please trust me as this is the ONLY WAY OUT. Also, the most appropriate option to choose.

Foremost, stop torturing by thinking of what has happened. Past is bygone, but thinking  about  it freshens it up everytime and the person hurt is stuck in that limbo. You start to relive that moment every time you think of that ugly incident of your life. The whole scenario just flashes back reel by reel and you see the entire film which is horrifying. You could have acted on it at the time when it took place but thinking about it now is not helpful. Instead it is very offensive, the more you think the more you harm yourself.

Now, re enforce a new thought, think that “You were not wrong, or guilty or had any fault in you. The other person did what he thought  was right at that time. You choose your way. He chose his way. You are one unique soul who is powerful, and loveful. You are a beautiful soul who loves everyone”. Say it outloud as much as possible and just think about it all the time. This thought may enhance your ability to forgive yourself, as well as the other soul and help you heal.

Secondly, forgive the one who has hurt you. I know it seems impossible and nobody wants to hear it but this is not for the person who has hurt you but it is for you,the one who got hurt. Forgiving and moving forward is the only way to keep the burden off your shoulders. Forgiving is for yourself because of the guilt which you have created for years.  Forgiving is bringing peace within. It is not for the other person but it is more for you.  Forgive the person, the incident , and the pain and move on . Life is to be lived.

I completely understand that it is the toughest thing to do, and will take a lot of courage but the end result will be satisfying. It is doable!

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